What’s up am I on chat line? My name is Sal & Capricorn is my sign. I like Star Trek & Brad Pitt, I watch Kung-Fu B movies & shave my armpits.

My brain is a sewer, where you dump your garbage.

Read me psychic man & tell me who I am, just put it on my visa.
Bleed me psychic man, I know you understand, you make it up so easy.

I don’t watch lesbian porno, will I befriend a trailer & die a smoker? Will I marry a redneck, will publisher’s clearing house drop off a big cheque?

(chorus)

Reach through the phone there Bud, are you Vulcan can you meld with me? I’ll reflect some evil to your head, ‘til your dead.

Will I cough up a fur ball when reading the tabloids doctors’ pulled my gerbil? Will I meet a new boyfriend, or will I be porked by martians & bare their children?

(chorus)